tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post2091481522809616760..comments2024-03-28T16:06:50.879+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: The Math Instructor by SF WrightCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-70579787205161431332017-11-23T19:25:58.493+00:002017-11-23T19:25:58.493+00:00Oh, man, what a familiar feeling of waiting for a ...Oh, man, what a familiar feeling of waiting for a particular email to show up, for various reasons. This story of a somewhat unrequited "love" pinpointed that on edge feeling of waiting and then the sort of queasiness once the email arrives.<br /><br />I felt like I wanted to know more about Robert's inner mind, though, regarding Hannah, like what specifically did he like about her besides her looks and "enjoying" their conversations. Was she witty, self-effacing, irreverent? <br /><br />The fact that I want more details points to a story well told and inviting. Thank you.Stacey E. Bryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09800331801067866111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-82214666290518110132017-11-11T15:33:50.879+00:002017-11-11T15:33:50.879+00:00Enjoyed reading this. The style fitted the main ch...Enjoyed reading this. The style fitted the main character very well and the theme, though done to infinity, was well-handled and structured. Reminded me a bit of Stoner by John Williams in terms of style and the pain felt when attraction goes unreciprocated. <br /><br />Keep an eye on your telling, rather than showing. And when it comes to semi-colons, less is more in my humble opinion; sometimes a short sentence works better. <br /><br />Good job. GC McKayhttp://www.gcmckay.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-87261996432108349972017-11-10T10:11:26.256+00:002017-11-10T10:11:26.256+00:00The intro worked, getting me interested in the sto...The intro worked, getting me interested in the story. The theme of this story is an old one: Boy meets girl, falls for girl, but girl isn’t interested romantically with boy. The paragraph in which Robert tells about his attraction to Hannah, might have worked better if it showed how Robert fell for Hannah. The impact of showing is much deeper than telling.<br /><br />I like how the author handled a female’s emotions when confronted with a male that was attracted to her. The scenes and emails sounded real, and Robert's hurt at his attempt to attract Hannah could be felt as the story finalized.<br /><br />Well written story and one that I enjoyed. Good job!George T. Philibinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-28321235248905634902017-11-09T18:42:47.899+00:002017-11-09T18:42:47.899+00:00A very enjoyable story with true-to-life character...A very enjoyable story with true-to-life characters. Better luck next time, Robert! We've all been there. David Hensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13683380054995884030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-24883923823072070512017-11-08T16:44:03.776+00:002017-11-08T16:44:03.776+00:00Thanks for this story. I enjoyed the simplicity of...Thanks for this story. I enjoyed the simplicity of the language, the absence of trying-too-hard flourishes. The language fit very well a story of romantic disappointment that I expect brings readers to reconsider experiences from their own past. I liked it a lot...John Mullenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14365087985355659353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-43341981307070122082017-11-07T13:03:00.321+00:002017-11-07T13:03:00.321+00:00I hung on every word. I particularly like the way ...I hung on every word. I particularly like the way Robert is characterized by the 'proper' style with its precise choice of words and phrases; 'a sense of opportunistic joy,' 'overcome with a premonition of loss,' 'indigent', 'jocose' - his remorse and anxiety about his conduct which might be construed as being lecherous. It almost has a nineteenth century formality to it, spot on! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17142492723192523556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-26121386515599620272017-11-07T12:33:09.228+00:002017-11-07T12:33:09.228+00:00Your story captures all the uncertainty and bitter...Your story captures all the uncertainty and bitter-sweet mixed signals in a new relationship. One feels tenderness for the honourable Robert, knowing that somewhere in the future he'll have his 'happy ending'.<br />BerylAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-16256331198018540352017-11-07T09:40:14.629+00:002017-11-07T09:40:14.629+00:00I agree with Ceinwen, it is a credible story under...I agree with Ceinwen, it is a credible story underlined by the `should I ?` quandary. One thing I would add is that I felt there was too much superfluous information, a more compact story would, for me, have had more impact.<br /><br />Mike McCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-7806853693519340392017-11-07T02:52:08.720+00:002017-11-07T02:52:08.720+00:00Lovely. Short and wistful with simple but believab...Lovely. Short and wistful with simple but believable emotions.Martyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06067509573510461311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-44705790195880266662017-11-06T10:38:45.202+00:002017-11-06T10:38:45.202+00:00A tender, nuanced story - well written and credibl...A tender, nuanced story - well written and credible. Many thanks,<br />Ceinwen Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11145727006327466838noreply@blogger.com