tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post2726715862044447181..comments2024-03-28T16:06:50.879+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: Carolyn's Quest by Lucy ThomasCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-6067718100420889052023-05-28T12:49:04.233+01:002023-05-28T12:49:04.233+01:00Lucy, this story has an intriguing, even timely, p...Lucy, this story has an intriguing, even timely, premise. I think it should be more fleshed out, with more on the Asian children, another scene with the father perhaps. The latter because Carolyn’s motivation was partially to reconcile with him. Some more background on Carolyn’s present life was called for, too. You had approximately 2700 words and if you’ll supplemented it with another two thousand – yeah, easy to say – it will be more complete. You have the bones for a really good story. I hope you’re still honing your craft, Lucy.Bill Topenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-60920812375116454812014-02-15T16:42:57.241+00:002014-02-15T16:42:57.241+00:00Your use of language is sometimes rather stilted, ...Your use of language is sometimes rather stilted, but a clever plot. Keep writing and ease of expression will come.<br />Beryl.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-78521829010368427762014-02-11T14:13:13.379+00:002014-02-11T14:13:13.379+00:00very interesting with some lovely descriptive pass...very interesting with some lovely descriptive passages, if I read it correctly, it´s already too late to turn back from our incessant chase for riches. the damage done is irreversible.<br />very good<br /><br />Michael McCarthyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com