tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post6164957465022002572..comments2024-03-28T16:06:50.879+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: The Portrait of Bare Pneuma by Steve LucasCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-35670841958569686982016-01-14T16:40:49.550+00:002016-01-14T16:40:49.550+00:00Thanks for your feedback. The story is 'futuri...Thanks for your feedback. The story is 'futuristic/sci-fi' rather than 'real life'. Perhaps you would've preferred it that way. The concept is that it isn't until the end that we realise that this other world is actually real. That's the story. Thanks for reading.<br />S.LucasAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-759138449479321722014-07-06T08:14:24.838+01:002014-07-06T08:14:24.838+01:00I agree with Charlie Bennett. The ending seems al...I agree with Charlie Bennett. The ending seems almost like a cop-out ... just have everyone die at the end of the story and you're done. The tension throughout the story kept me reading but in the end, there was no explanation. The writing is good but there was no story there.<br /><br />Cliff ..<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-53404866193115124402014-06-29T13:40:15.565+01:002014-06-29T13:40:15.565+01:00Nice use of language. I agree with other posters ...Nice use of language. I agree with other posters that the character development is good and the action is advanced nicely. However, the ending was unsatisfying to me. The story would have had greater impact for me if this alien world was truly a construction of his psyche to deal with despair and addiction. Just my opinion. Skillfully done, nonetheless.Charlie Bennetthttp://charliebennettstories.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-37565688941360063732014-06-24T19:33:08.969+01:002014-06-24T19:33:08.969+01:00Really enjoyed this piece, very well written, and ...Really enjoyed this piece, very well written, and as the previous poster alluded to, excellent character development. Definitely sucked you in, I was left wanting to know what happened next to be honest, looking forward to possibly reading further literary delights about the mystical and magical white world, sounded like my kind of place!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14167382801024853673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-70813569282246562532014-06-24T15:38:50.738+01:002014-06-24T15:38:50.738+01:00Not really my type of story, but the suspense pull...Not really my type of story, but the suspense pulls you in and continues to build making it hard NOT to read. Characters are nicely developed. Well doneJim Bartletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03429957545169700110noreply@blogger.com