tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post8530759348735898003..comments2024-03-28T16:06:50.879+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: The Black Eye by Sahar SabatiCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-8090939468334320372017-02-07T09:29:50.625+00:002017-02-07T09:29:50.625+00:00I really enjoyed this story. MonicaI really enjoyed this story. MonicaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-69432088154876668832013-07-10T05:18:49.299+01:002013-07-10T05:18:49.299+01:00Interesting concept where real lives can sit adjac...Interesting concept where real lives can sit adjacent but mostly innocently on laptops that have no need to be connected. Perhaps there might be a sequel in this?<br />Regards<br />Colin Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10463634781043719510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-6732934411568228692013-01-07T18:37:38.231+00:002013-01-07T18:37:38.231+00:00I liked the length of the story and how it unexpec...I liked the length of the story and how it unexpectantly developed. <br /><br />I am studying journalism and philosophy and aspire to be a journalist. Going around cafes and writing doesn't seem like such a bad way of life! <br />I'm just afraid of being stuck in an office for the rest of my life! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-4269117565571432722013-01-04T22:06:27.843+00:002013-01-04T22:06:27.843+00:00Hi to Anonymous:
Then I guess my opinions have no...Hi to Anonymous:<br /><br />Then I guess my opinions have no validity. Hmmmm. Am I supposed to say I love everything and everything is great? Or may I say what I feel? I never said that what the author did in the story is not valid, should not have been written, that the author should give up. I just said I was tired of reading that stuff. Me. Not you or anybody else. But me. Some people like John Barth. Others Philip Roth. Others Thomas Pynchon. Others J.K. Rowling. Others James Petterson. All valid. I merely said what I've been saying for the past 40 years out of my 60. Write what you don't know to discover what you do. Spread yourself. Explore the boundries. That's all, and if that's presumptuous and sanctimonious, then I guess this is not the place for a free discourse. Or is it? Norman Mailer hated Gore Vidal, had a fight. Both great writers ...<br /><br />Mike SchwartzAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-63393607836897019562013-01-04T12:32:47.734+00:002013-01-04T12:32:47.734+00:00Dear Mike Schwartz
Without commenting on the meri...Dear Mike Schwartz<br /><br />Without commenting on the merits of the story, I will say that your remarks are presumptuous and a little sanctimonious. There is nothing wrong with writing in the voice of your narrator and there is nothing wrong with using words like "hopefully" and "suddenly." What literature permits is an endless variety of styles and forms and this story represents one of them. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-7491090125541128672013-01-03T19:32:33.798+00:002013-01-03T19:32:33.798+00:00I'm tired of writers who write as they talk, w...I'm tired of writers who write as they talk, who don't use words as being tangible and alive, but who write as if they're typing. To quote Truman Capote when describing Kerouac, he said, "That's not writing, that's typing." Words react with words. Also, writers need to know grammar and, once they do, then they can break the rule. Become a copyeditor of your work. A copyeditor is also a great profession for a writer. It teaches the dignity of thought and words. "Hopefully" is not a word. "Hopeful" is. "Suddenly" should never be used. Everything is suddenly. Every word, thought, action. Even premeditation is sudden. A story should be able to be read 20 years from now, so be aware of cliches ("I couldn't let my own weakness bring her down"; "my eyes glued on my screen"; "both pounded furiously"; "The statement, out of the blue, shocked me";"her smile froze and melted"). Use fresh imagery, something never attempted. And, keep writing, but use a voice that is as unfamiliar to you as it is to us.<br /><br />Mike SchwartzAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-77326464250858149032012-12-30T11:12:16.009+00:002012-12-30T11:12:16.009+00:00this has the ring of truth about it. i also found ...this has the ring of truth about it. i also found the beginning of it a bit like a modern noir and did not expect where it was going.<br />however i think it is very good.<br /><br />well done<br /><br />michael mccarthyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com