tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post4117518904252372102..comments2024-03-28T16:06:50.879+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: Someone Else's Field by Billie PritchettCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-46945579744211580182015-04-02T09:21:14.249+01:002015-04-02T09:21:14.249+01:00Thank you for the comments, everybody. I appreciat...Thank you for the comments, everybody. I appreciate the praise of both Mike C and Jim Bartlett, as well as the helpful criticism from Doug and Jessica Baumgartner. I guess I should go ahead and address some of those points.<br /><br />Doug says the gods thing seems clumsy. Maybe clumsily written, in which case I'll bite the bullet on that. Death by cop should be familiar because it's a detective story trope. And yes, I agree that Scarsdale is acting weird from word Go, but that's by design. If it doesn't work, of course, shame on me.<br /><br />Jessica, I think you're totally right: no need to indicate all the dialogue shifts--there are two characters and readers get it.<br /><br />Best wishes,<br /><br />BPBillie Pritchetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09975931918383394113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-8145429876065654742015-04-01T14:51:25.204+01:002015-04-01T14:51:25.204+01:00I love a good dialogues story, but try not to be s...I love a good dialogues story, but try not to be so robotic: he said, he asked, he said, he said, he asked after every line gets old. It's a common mistake I used to make. Mix it up with some gestures or just let your characters talk, and trust the we as the readers are smart enough to know a good back and forth. You do that and you've got it! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13800244766592594222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-6829918791240018952015-03-30T19:25:41.459+01:002015-03-30T19:25:41.459+01:00The gods wanted me to be a cop seems clumsy to me....The gods wanted me to be a cop seems clumsy to me. Death by cop just before retirement seems familiar.<br /><br />Scarsdale seemed untrustworthy all the way through.Dougnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-1002396531900409332015-03-29T17:35:24.169+01:002015-03-29T17:35:24.169+01:00Nice storyline, great character depiction. Ceinwen...Nice storyline, great character depiction. Ceinwen says it well - Rossi has been seduced into taking the baton. Jim Bartletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03429957545169700110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-25232336945752624762015-03-29T12:54:55.582+01:002015-03-29T12:54:55.582+01:00first class, completely convincing characters and ...first class, completely convincing characters and dialogue. even if you´re not sure you´re supposed to be a cop if one of your colleagues is hit you have to step in. they have their code.<br />well done<br /><br />Mike McCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-30634375222379233382015-03-29T09:01:32.122+01:002015-03-29T09:01:32.122+01:00The tale takes the reader into jagged and unsettli...The tale takes the reader into jagged and unsettling worlds - the internal psyche of a disappointed man, and the crude reality of policing with a view to settling old scores. Can the main protagonist be seen as an Olympian so that his sordid activities can be dignified? What a tragedy that Rossi seems to have been seduced into taking over the baton and continuing the naarative? A good story, told with pace and good observation for detail. Thanks,<br />Ceinwen Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com