tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post5327755319957249080..comments2024-03-29T12:58:34.121+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: Family Business by Micah LallyCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-15301338798937485032015-03-24T15:39:33.559+00:002015-03-24T15:39:33.559+00:00Great, engaging story! A sad coming of age, but an...Great, engaging story! A sad coming of age, but an effective one. Nice work!<br />Gwendolynhttp://www.gwendolynkiste.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-33691173294871028092015-01-12T10:08:56.552+00:002015-01-12T10:08:56.552+00:00Hi Micah, I enjoyed your writing style and the eas...Hi Micah, I enjoyed your writing style and the easy continuous flow of words that presented clear imagery and characterization. One point of criticism is the context, surely Dara 'wasn't inexperienced' and having been in the business with her Dad, she was well aware of what was going on. To me this naivety you presented seemed contradictory to the back story. I may have misinterpreted this (readers often do), I would welcome your thoughts. James McEwan.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-18758642034684350712015-01-12T09:09:13.775+00:002015-01-12T09:09:13.775+00:00Great piece, classic exposition of our society esp...Great piece, classic exposition of our society especially in the 21st century. Disappointment couldn't have been more hurtful than when its stings stems from your blood and hero. The descriptive skill in here is just on point. Great work Micah!<br />Jamiu.Deniyi L'ébènehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04604894321899217698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-12505561890384528012015-01-12T09:08:33.951+00:002015-01-12T09:08:33.951+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Deniyi L'ébènehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04604894321899217698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-23409934656222405462015-01-11T11:53:20.116+00:002015-01-11T11:53:20.116+00:00Very expressively written, visceral and exposed. T...Very expressively written, visceral and exposed. The 'coming of age' of this is child of the mob, when the scales finally fall from her eyes is devastating for her. Dramatic and extreme in this narrative, the process is mirrored in most of our lives when we realise that our parents are flawed, in minor or sometimes major ways. They are not the arbiters of what is right. As Mike has said the use of language is fantastic; selective and spare with maximum impact. Thank you very much,<br />CeinwenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-32002718185815922242015-01-11T11:33:11.907+00:002015-01-11T11:33:11.907+00:00this really is first class, brilliant descriptive,...this really is first class, brilliant descriptive, fantastic use of words.<br />captures the realisation of disappointment perfectly.<br />well done<br /><br />MikeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com