tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post945179050891153295..comments2024-03-28T16:06:50.879+00:00Comments on FICTION on the WEB short stories: Moving Away by Ceinwen HaydonCharlie Fishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04834189452905372024noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-58700080194186087612015-01-12T14:17:54.479+00:002015-01-12T14:17:54.479+00:00Great epistles! I enjoyed the explicit tale of the...Great epistles! I enjoyed the explicit tale of their typical lives in the letters. It evoked a feeling of soliloquy from each writer. Lovely it is!Deniyi L'ébènehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04604894321899217698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-63679146883889672322015-01-05T16:27:20.857+00:002015-01-05T16:27:20.857+00:00Hi Brooke,
Thanks so much for taking the time to r...Hi Brooke,<br />Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story, and for your thoughtful reflections. Writing is always a work in progress and feedback is so helpful!<br />very best wishes,<br />CeinwenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-6325499723816982942015-01-05T14:26:44.725+00:002015-01-05T14:26:44.725+00:00A very powerful piece of writing for 2 reasons; th...A very powerful piece of writing for 2 reasons; the first goes back to a seminar I attended a while ago which dealt with dialogue under the following three topics; i) that which is said, ii) that which is unsaid, iii) that which is unsayable. Ceinwen's piece is concerned mainly with the two latter categories (as Charlie puts it in his intro/header 'in the form of unsent letters') and they give the story a strong sense of tension. The second reason is there's no real resolution (in that one isn't 100% sure whether Dan's gone for good or not, although all the likelihood is there) - and I think that's very effective because it gives the writing a durability as it continues in ones mind.<br />Brooke Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17142492723192523556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-25191775211005895622015-01-05T08:33:16.610+00:002015-01-05T08:33:16.610+00:00Hi Mike, James, Beryl, Jim and Tim,
Thank you all ...Hi Mike, James, Beryl, Jim and Tim,<br />Thank you all so much for reading my story; and for your helpful feedback and generous comments. It is hard to know whether the tale has carried across to others when until it's out there and read! I very much appreciate your support, as well as the chance to read your works on Charlie's site as well. <br />Best wishes for 2015 and may the words keep flowing for us all!<br />Ceinwen<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-48573478502184872252015-01-05T01:12:17.163+00:002015-01-05T01:12:17.163+00:00Very well done. Troubling in all the right ways. ...Very well done. Troubling in all the right ways. Thank you for such a compelling story.<br /><br />Tim MacyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-1608894065902270472015-01-04T16:05:44.949+00:002015-01-04T16:05:44.949+00:00I thought maybe the back and forth "letters&q...I thought maybe the back and forth "letters" style for this story might take away - but I missed that one by a country mile. Very well done and as those before me here have mentioned, it conveys the mood of the relationship as it comes to an end with a haunting sadness that seems to stick with you long after you've read the last word. Nicely done.Jim Bartletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03429957545169700110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-77799147026939566602015-01-04T15:39:01.503+00:002015-01-04T15:39:01.503+00:00Telling your story from the standpoint of both Dan...Telling your story from the standpoint of both Dan and Megan was clever, capturing the reader's interest. Sadly, people do grow apart for many reasons, but ending a long-standing relationship is devastating which you were skilful in conveying. Keep writing!<br />All the best,<br />Beryl.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-88824631391245519422015-01-04T15:31:24.712+00:002015-01-04T15:31:24.712+00:00Ceinwen, I enjoyed reading your story as it left m...Ceinwen, I enjoyed reading your story as it left me reflecting on many issues in my own life. Perhaps these are difficulties and contradictions we all face at sometime in our own relationships, ones that you have captured in the mood of your characters. I did wonder though, why Dan was so insistent on the persistent use of the word 'you', which I felt was very prolific at times. As a reader I began to wonder if this trait indicated the character's way of diverting blame away from himself. I felt annoyed with this and decided he was the petulant half of the relationship and unable to accept compromise. So I think once he overcomes his faulty ego, he will be back - just my prediction. A good read and captivating story, many thanks. James McEwanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-155197540326010032.post-7952788058594283902015-01-04T10:21:49.383+00:002015-01-04T10:21:49.383+00:00this is a first class story, thought provoking, ha...this is a first class story, thought provoking, haunting and sad, and very cleverly told. there is sympathy for both Dan and Megan, neither one of them is right, this is a relationship after all.<br /><br />really, well done<br /><br />Mike McCarthyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com