Courtship Contemplation Reaches Floral Conclusion by Mary Steer
Mary Steer tells a short and cute story without repeating a single word.
In just over two hundred original words, can it come out - one's passion for another? Making each one rare, yet appropriate - without repetition?
Perhaps.
Desiring uniqueness requires an attempt. Here goes:
Those eyes, that smile, hair like a wild river foaming through rainstorms, skin smooth and soft as creamy pale paper awaiting inspiration. Straight, tall, unnervingly direct gaze, clothing pure elegant funkiness.
Would merely "Hello!" do? Likely more is needed, some witticism, protestation, enticement, something... brilliant?
What might work?
Simply three little mots?
Nah. Too scary.
How, then?
Wordlessly, maybe. Sending knowing smiles, winks, fingers waggling, waving, tiny kisses blown? Creepy, before greater acquaintance.
Spilling drink, apologising, chatting, asking on date?
Napkin note sent across crowded room?
Pre-bought drink, bartender-delivered?
Introduction by mutual friends?
Cold call?
All frightening.
Still, being alone worse.
Snub, though, worst thing?
Best stay lonely. Languishing easy...
NO! Try harder. Think. Must find way...
But don't ask beer buddies. Need style, class, panache.
Send flowers?
YES! Let blooms speak! Red tulips (declaration), white roses (personal worthiness - unless pushy, self-aggrandizing?), agapanthus (secret love); most importantly, clover (be mine). Include website link containing blossom meaning descriptions. Will she understand?
With her brain? Of course.
Answer? Who knows. Hope not scarlet geranium (maybe next time), snapdragon (presumption)... Or least desirable outcome - shudder - the yellow carnation (disdain).
Hard, choosing from fifty ways to join your lover.
In just over two hundred original words, can it come out - one's passion for another? Making each one rare, yet appropriate - without repetition?
Perhaps.
Desiring uniqueness requires an attempt. Here goes:
Those eyes, that smile, hair like a wild river foaming through rainstorms, skin smooth and soft as creamy pale paper awaiting inspiration. Straight, tall, unnervingly direct gaze, clothing pure elegant funkiness.
Would merely "Hello!" do? Likely more is needed, some witticism, protestation, enticement, something... brilliant?
What might work?
Simply three little mots?
Nah. Too scary.
How, then?
Wordlessly, maybe. Sending knowing smiles, winks, fingers waggling, waving, tiny kisses blown? Creepy, before greater acquaintance.
Spilling drink, apologising, chatting, asking on date?
Napkin note sent across crowded room?
Pre-bought drink, bartender-delivered?
Introduction by mutual friends?
Cold call?
All frightening.
Still, being alone worse.
Snub, though, worst thing?
Best stay lonely. Languishing easy...
NO! Try harder. Think. Must find way...
But don't ask beer buddies. Need style, class, panache.
Send flowers?
YES! Let blooms speak! Red tulips (declaration), white roses (personal worthiness - unless pushy, self-aggrandizing?), agapanthus (secret love); most importantly, clover (be mine). Include website link containing blossom meaning descriptions. Will she understand?
With her brain? Of course.
Answer? Who knows. Hope not scarlet geranium (maybe next time), snapdragon (presumption)... Or least desirable outcome - shudder - the yellow carnation (disdain).
Hard, choosing from fifty ways to join your lover.
a very clever idea and it certainly works, encourages good use of vocabulary. think i´ve also succeeded but on smaller scale!
ReplyDeletewell done
Mike McC
brilliant. thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant and perfect for Valentines's Day.
ReplyDeleteMary, thank you for a story that is brilliant, entertaining, wonderful, clever, engaging, playful, thoughtful, intriguing, and just plain lovely!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous, poetic piece - lyrical prose at its best. Love distilled - thank you,
ReplyDeleteCeinwen
Erudite as usual, and only you would know the agapanthus!
ReplyDeleteNo need to get a new plan, Stan. You got this beat.
Lots of flowers for you, Mary! All purple, to signify my admiration for the creativity and humour of this piece.
ReplyDeleteWow - what a fun piece. It just trips along. The absence of articles and other function words gives the piece a real energy. Delightful!
ReplyDeleteI loved it. right to the point. Feelings without wordiness to lose them in. Very fun.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant and wonderfully clever. Wish I had read this before sending a pack of beer :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the great comments - so glad people have been enjoying my story.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely short and cute. Very clever. :)
ReplyDeletelovely flowery prose
ReplyDelete